This is a day for me to vent. And what better place to do this but on my blog?

I find myself having such a negative week – that I really don’t believe in. But I continue to harbor it, feed and allow it into my life in one fashion or another.

Today was a breaking point of sorts for me. One that I will learn from and make some changes.

I’m a giver; caretaker; and a controller. Whoever I come in contact with ends up knowing that and using that to their fullest potential. Benefiting them and frustrating and hurting me to the point of no return.

Usually when I get to this point; there’s never a happy ending unless the parties agree between them and resolutions are sought after and accomplished.

The best way to do this is to communicate.

I’m a firm believer in communication and most of the people that cross my path are not. I wonder why that is and search after the answers diligently until I’ve got something to build on.

After all; how is anyone going to know how you feel unless you express it to them. Keeping your emotions and feelings about things pent up is not good or healthy for that matter.

Communication – dare I say it?

Good communication is a fundamental part of a any healthy relationship. When people stop communicating well, they stop relating well, and times of change or stress can really bring out disconnect. As long as you are communicating, you can work through whatever problem you’re facing.

Communication is about more than just exchanging information. It’s about understanding the emotion and intentions behind the information. I personally think that effective communication is also a two-way street. It’s not only how you convey a message so that it is received and understood by someone in exactly the way you intended, it’s also how you listen to gain the full meaning of what’s being said and to make the other person feel heard and understood.

So then after communication would come the absolute resolutions.

It depends what kind of resolutions you set. For many people, I would think resolutions are an expression of hope, not an action plan for the future. I found that with me…when I make a change; a decision; and a resolve to change, then I immediately feel more confident, in control and hopeful.

I even feel stronger and taller, which is kind of ridiculous, since I only stand about 5’2” but this just shows how uplifting resolving to change can be for me.

Sometimes people make resolutions as a way to connect to a growth mindset – the belief that through effort and support, that they can change and grow in meaningful ways – that’s all fine. And it’s not necessarily a tragedy if they fall short. I won’t put myself in that position.

The worst thing I can do is to make a promise to myself that I don’t really care about and that I don’t really plan to see through.

Here’s what I learned from my experiences to get me to the place I’m in today:

Before anything can change in my life, I have to shed light on it.. There has to be a moment when I take a hard look at the truth and contend with the fact it is no longer acceptable. I must be uncomfortable to make a change.- which is where I am now. Totally uncomfortable and changing!

I’m not expecting miracles from myself, but I am expecting a definite recognizable change that will affect the negativity and change it into positive.

And that’s the way it is –

Goodnight Chet – Goodnight David!

Valerie