After 27 years of marriage; 3 kids and 3 grandkids; I divorced my husband because of incompatibility amongst a million other t hings wrong in the marriage. It had been going in a negative direction for many years; but I waited for the kids to grow up and leave before I left him. It was a choice of whether to have them witness us arguing all the time or fighting a tug-a-war between the parents for custody and dealing with any girlfriends and boyfriends between us… etc..It was torture going through the motions all those years; dealing with verbal and mental abuse; not mentioning the physical abuse early on that ended with sobriety. But the same personality still existed and it attacked from within in a different manner. I’d done all the self-sacrificing I could do after all that time; I finally had to leave.
Once I left; I felt so free like I’d never felt before. Joining groups of people at restaurants and lounges that were comforting to be around for once. I dated a few people here and there but never anyone serious. I had to give myself the chance to experience life to the extent that I’d never been before or at least hadn’t been for many, many years.
One of the things that I lacked the most in any relationships that I ever had was being with someone that shared the same interests as I did and actually equally share in the excitement about the accomplishments that I achieved. I remember always being excited about my writing, photography or any job that I was crazy about, and each and every time I would always share it with my better half. The reaction was so discerning and so opposite of what I was looking for and hoped to receive for that self-satisfaction and peacefulness within my soul that I was yearning for, that it would just throw me over the edge;into a slump….where finding my muse after that was nearly an impossibility.
I once was told that opposites attract. And now I’m wondering if that’s really true.
According to studies; opposites attract, and likes repel. When it comes to magnetism, this natural principle is axiomatic. But does it also hold true for romantic relationships?
New research suggests that when it comes to matters of the heart…well, it’s complicated.
But here’s a thought: It has been said that the happiest couples never have the same character—they just have the best understanding of their differences.
So….I just “Keep on Rollin’ With the Flow”….
Here are some samples of my photography:
And a sample of a different genre:
Stay true to oneself
and peaceful with others.
Learn the reality behind
your feelings; the longing
for acceptance.
The peace that comes
within your own heart
will guide you to the
next chapter of life.
Learn to love outside
the walls and ….
Stay true to oneself.
As an avid NASCAR fan; I just recently found myself in a very awkward and unusual situation during one of the most important races of the year – The Sprint Cup Championship in Homestead Florida.
Here it is – The Sunday that will televise a race that the winner takes all! It will be the end to year of fighting, pushing, crashing, winning, & losing. It will be the end to all the hard work that these race teams and drivers have managed to achieve through the unpredictable weather that graced itself through the heat, cold and rain while the ever so magnificent unkind words ferociously used towards one another to projectile themselves into the atmosphere of the agony of defeat. It also turns out to be the last race of a very respected driver – one of my favs – after over 700 races in the past 25 years and the incredible tribute to him and his lifetime achievement he will get into his #24 car for the last time on this very day on this very broadcast.
My wonderful, new technology, extraordinary UNIVERSAL REMOTE CONTROL device, that is responsible for not only the TV, but the CABLE, DVR and the SOUND SYSTEM, just decided to take it’s own life and took a plunge from a high shelf to the tile floor; therefore ending it all – to life as we all knew it to be. A life where it freely gave of itself to get used and abused to such a degree that it felt it was the best timing to accomplish it’s mission; never to be forgotten; always remembered as the one Remote that could do everything for everyone!
The destruction of the most important device that existed in my living room at this very important time obliterated any hopes of being a part of the NASCAR Championship and the live tribute to one of the last oldie but goodie drivers left on the track.
I scrambled to and fro to use my, what I considered ‘intellectual’ mind, to not only make an attempt at putting ‘humpty dumpty’ back together again, but simultaneously work on my computer to see if it was showing live somewhere or if I could operate my DVR and at least tape it somehow and watch it on the internet on my computer ‘live’ from my cable company website – ANYTHING! But to no avail….as hard as I tried…no dice! Nothing was working! Nothing!
I finally figured out a way to manually operate the DVR itself with the help of a flashlight but it was very limited as to what I was able to do; equally as frustrating. I was able to get the Race taped via the cable website and felt a sense of reprieve. Couldn’t fast forward or rewind; but I just had to deal with it. I mean; after all, can’t we all remember a time when we weren’t even able to do that with anything we watched on TV. How spoiled we’ve become!
There was a long 2 hour rain delay at the track in Florida….so much for working my magic. But when if finally started I was so excited! Life was getting better and the race was well under way. I even was able to set the DVR to record the next couple of shows so I wouldn’t miss the ending. I mean, after all, the ending is the means to the end – so to speak. The race was quite eventful with one of the nastiest drivers taking out an all time favorite driver; himself and a few others. I would suppose he thought, since he wasn’t going to beat the best and didn’t have the points to get anywhere winning this race – like the championship (way to detailed to explain; let me tell you!) Then he might as well just go down and take some people with him! What a complete jerk! But that’s racing for you. The replays spoke for themselves.
(Too bad the NASCAR driver that decided to take everyone out didn’t follow my blog and understand what to do when you’re ‘frustrated’ and ‘angry’ If I only could’ve written it in time!)
Nearing the last several laps of the race – going through all sorts of feelings and reactions to the intense seriousness of the drivers; crew and fans – the taped show ended! I knew I had taped a few shows after that to cover this type of thing happening. I kneeled down to the DVR and manually tried to get to the next recorded show, when….as limited as this machine allowed a manual intervention; IT COULDN’T BE DONE! Needless to say; I was scrambling again; similar to the way the old TV’s used to scramble the channels for viewing. Running around like a crazy woman…trying anything and everything I could think of; once again; to be able to watch the end of the most important race of the season. I even worked on the remote again and got it put together and actually working – batteries and all….but it just wouldn’t operate any of the electronics it was supposed to.
I was so frustrated that I was ready to KILL the remote myself rather than the way it committed suicide earlier! By the time I got done trying so hard; the race was over and I had to go online to see who won. Keeping in mind this was Sunday and there wasn’t any Cable offices open to retrieve a new remote.
This is what I missed “LIVE” my friends that I had to catch later online! NOT THE SAME — even so — GREAT RACE!
The last few laps and the adrenaline rush of the WIN! Gotta be a fan to understand…..especially when it’s embedded into your soul!!!…..
It makes me all frustrated all over again just re-reading this blog!
As a matter of fact; here’s the rest of the story: And you thought it was over??
In the middle of writing this blog – to top it ALL off – an explosion was heard from miles around in my neighborhood and instantly there was a major power outage in over 300 homes! Including mine! Thank God I was smart enough to save what I had written; but the thoughts that were flowing began to diminish without the help of the computer I was using. Several hours later after regaining consciousness; a midst the anger, frustration and lost thoughts…I finished writing the post.
And what I want to share is that Frustration; Anger and Impatience is just NOT worth it in the end! WHY? It feels good to express yourself that way at the time.
Frustration is an emotion that occurs in situations where a person is blocked from reaching a desired outcome. In general, whenever we reach one of our goals, we feel pleased and whenever we are prevented from reaching our goals, we may succumb to frustration and feel irritable, annoyed and angry. Typically, the more important the goal, the greater the frustration and resultant anger or loss of confidence.
External frustration may be unavoidable. We can try to do something about it, like finding a different route if we are stuck in traffic, or choosing a different restaurant if our first choice is closed, or even trying desperately to fix a REMOTE….but sometimes there is just NOTHING we can do about it. It is just the way life is. Our goal in dealing with external sources of frustration is to recognize the wisdom of the Serenity Prayer…”God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.”
Here are several methods that I use quite frequently – even in this prime example I’ve shared here – believe it or not – I applied some of these principles or things, on that Sunday, would have been drastically worse!
1. Avoid your triggers as much as possible….Knowing what tends to touch a nerve will help you recognize when these feelings are likely to strike and avoid the trigger as often as possible. Triggers are often automatic reactions, so simply knowing your triggers can often help control when you’re presented with one.
2. Practice stress-management breathing. Relaxed, regulated breathing changes the chemistry of the brain so activity is dominated by the thoughtful neo cortex, not the fight-or-flight amygdala. This is how conscious, focused breathing can help you to avoid impulsive action or rash words. Breathe deeply. Before you act out of anger or frustration, pause and a take a deep breath. Count to five slowly as you breathe in, then count to five again as you breathe out. Repeat until you feel calm.
3. Manage your expectations of others. Other people can be very frustrating, because humans can be amazing and wonderful. People can also be irrational, self-centered, unfair, and inconsistent. It can be infuriatingly frustrating. You can always control your own reaction, but never their behavior.
4. Check in with yourself. Frustration is a stressor that causes the release of adrenaline and other neurochemicals, which can act together to make you act impulsively and even aggressively. Before you shout, make a rude gesture, or insult someone, stop and mentally go back over the relevant events. Check that your response is neither excessive nor insufficient. The goal is not to let others walk all over you, while not over-dominating and walking all over others yourself.
5. View frustration as “delayed success” rather than “failure”. How you frame your situation will change your reaction and emotions. If you see your situation as a setback that you will get over, you are more likely to know immediately you can overcome the frustration.
6. Treat yourself. Frustration can build tension and anxiety, which can have deleterious effects on our mood, sleep cycle, and general body chemistry. By improving your self care–especially care of your body–you can relax and let go of the feelings that were stirred up by frustration. Seriously consider taking a bath, going for a walk, baking a nice loaf of bread, or reading a book. These slow, soothing activities can help change your body chemistry from alarmed and dysregulated to calm and focused. All of these ideas work very well for me – try them; you’ll see.
7. Exercise to reduce stress. Physical activity can relieve tension and stress caused by frustration, especially if you exercise in the right environment. It releases the endorphins that have you all wound up in the first place. Walk, jog, or hike outdoors in a natural environment if possible. If you are not used to exercising regularly, take it slow so you feel refreshed, not exhausted.
8. Fight procrastination. Frustration can cause apathy, or severe lack of motivation. This can result in spending hours on activities that are neither productive nor enjoyable, or failing to meet goals due to procrastination.
9. Change your course. If a personal project or repeated task is frustrating you, find another project or hobby to work on for a while. If you are frustrated at work, brainstorm ways to make your work go more smoothly, or request a shift in your work duties or scheduling.
10. Recognize negative behavior. Frustration often leads to thoughts and behavior that only make the situation worse. Try to catch yourself when these negative events occur, and immediately take a break using the advice above.
I recently had an opportunity to visit an antiques and collectors extravaganza that would simply blow your socks off! I felt like I was at a museum that was filled with artifacts from one side of the world to the other and lots in between. I really don’t go to buy; unless it’s extremely out of the ordinary and I have to have it for some unknown crazy reason; and if it’s within my “very small” budget.
Once in, I felt like a kid in a candy store; I wanted everything! It all looked so delectable – I wanted it all! I felt as though I could use everything I saw. Where I would put it; store it; or how I would bring some of this stuff home in my tiny little Ford Focus wasn’t my concern. Couldn’t I come up with something that I could do – maybe start a business that was decorated with some of this stuff? Ha! If you have been reading some of my posts you’ll see that I have a real knack of imagining businesses that I could start and NEVER do it! My claim to my infamous fame.
The first couple I ran across were enjoying themselves more than me
The next guy I ran into had so much time on his hands that he decided to go shopping in his closet for every belt he had and make chairs out of them!
The next guy decided to tear into every car in his driveway and garage and make counter tops; Living Room couches and …I think he must’ve gone to the ET ride at Universal too many times or he watched the horror flick “Christine” too many times and just had to have her!
It’s definitely a place to go if you want to gain all your holiday weight in one day! It’s just a sin to even smell this stuff!
And it’s a place to go where there’s definitely no political correctness! You can just be who you are and no one is going to bother you, correct or offend you or make you leave. That kind of seals the first amendment from our constitution in the USA at this extravaganza!
We’ve got the old fashioned roller skates that I used as a kid and that always reminds me of that all too familiar song:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3FPn5noN_qs
Shutters are not used for what they used to be for
And there’s a phone from my house growing up
This chair was outside my parent’s house in Miami
And the step stool at my grandmother’s house
We owned a phone like this in my house growing up…(I guess for kicks….it was hooked up and operable)
My grandfather had a lawn mower like this one
My grandmother worked in the sweat shops in NY city and used a sewing machine like this one
This looked like what I had in my room as a teenager growing up….listening to Grand Funk and Deep Purple on 8 track and/or cassettes!
Selling pickles only takes me back to the motorcycle song…. and the pickle
I actually still could fit into this classroom desk that we can all say that we remember! Just love this stuff
Better not weigh too much or your fortune will be doomed!
I made so many of these that this one is probably one of mine!
This fan was in my grandmother’s house in the Florida room
My parents owned a Bath Shoppe that had one of these old tubs in the window vinette
The old fashioned way of listening to music in a diner
My dad had a cash register like this in his first business….(at least he had a business that was successful and not just a dream of one!)
Listening to the radio at my grandparents house…..I didn’t even tell you about having to watch Lawrence Welk on Sunday nights if I spent the night at their house! (In black and white no less!)
How about the projector in Science or History class in school?
This must’ve been where Ronald McDonald started his career!!
Don’t the barber chairs still look like that?
This lady had the right idea going on…what a great way to haul stuff!
At one point I was ready for some “wine”!
I wish I had one of these when I was a kid! Is that old or new?
An old stove from back in the day; but I can’t hardly see it as a TV stand??
Buffalo Bill’s girlfriend grabbing her some!
“Hush, hush Sweet Charlotte” (for those of you who don’t know what I’m talking about….just Google it!)
And the end result of what I took away from this AWESOME adventurous day of Thrifting or Antiquing or Strolling….or whatever strikes your fancy……was….
* It got my mind off of the daily hustle and bustle
* Relaxation at it’s best
* Memories were flowing like Niagara Falls
* Got to get some photography muse going
* Pleasant people to be around
* Exercise – walking several miles and then some
* Being strong enough to hold back from the bad foods!
* Freely speaking my mind; thoughts & beliefs
* Meeting some great people from all over the world
ETC….ETC….ETC…
What a way to spend the day!!! It just blew my socks off!!
Hope you enjoyed my rendition of some Therapeutic Thrifting!
I’ve spoken about my dabbling into as many things as I can to make money; one of them happens to be “housecleaning” professionally. Well not professionally in such a way that I have a business doing it; but housecleaning other people’s houses for a fee.
I was doing this for quite some time on a regular basis through a company and believe it or not I was enjoying it immensely! Now; I hear you all saying – ‘enjoying housecleaning?’ ….but it’s true…some people do enjoy it. I particularly enjoyed it because it relaxed me; and it was a heck of an exercise routine to say the least! It certainly was a way to; listen to music, reflect, escape and to feel good about the results as the reward for the day! Bet you never thought of housecleaning like that before!
Now; when it came to getting an assignment to clean a house that was so filthy that I had to bring my hazmat with the gas mask attachment;
(the best I could find was a space suit!)
it wasn’t all that enjoyable anymore like “ peace, love and Bobby Sherman”! (for those of you who don’t get that last statement; just replace that comment with lying in a bed of daffodils or daisies; loving life)
I mean, I had to throw my clothes away when I finished cleaning; that’s how bad it was! It not only was hazardous to the homeowner’s health but to my health and so that was the end of that!
Needless to say, “Lesson well Learned” here…. “Stay out of dirty houses”!
The last experience I had that made me just throw in the ‘towel’ to ‘housecleaning’ jobs forever was when I was asked to clean some spots on the carpet. I thought this was a no brainer until I went to use the formula I used so many times before; and after applying it to all the spots; I left it to do it’s job while I cleaned the rest of the house…. But, low and behold….I was in shock to see the bleach spots all over the carpet. I frantically used desperate measures to try to eradicate the discoloration like a mad woman. In my futile attempt to make this right somehow; it only made things worse. In some areas the carpet was beginning to fall out…like a bad case of hair loss. What did I do next, you ask? Wrote a note; left the check right there on the counter that the homeowner left for my fee – offered to help in any way I could and got the “hell” outta there!
Needless to say “Lesson well Learned” here…. “Don’t ever do any carpet cleaning if you don’t know what you’re using!”
I think the deeper lesson learned was that I was just in the wrong business! It just wasn’t working out.
I can assure you when I have something happen to me like that; I never make the same mistake (error) more than once, or at least I try not to.
So what can we take from these crazy experiences?
The most important life lessons we will ever learn will be from the bad decisions we make. Time and experience can be excellent teachers when you actually learn a lesson from your poor decisions. Experience comes from our way of living, understanding and the adjustments we make. It also comes from suffering, agony and the ordeals we are afflicted by.
“Good judgment comes from experience and experience comes from poor judgment.”
We need to learn from our “mistakes” (I don’t like that word – replace it with “experiences”) so that we do not run the risk of repeating them. We must develop the wisdom and sense to make good decisions and choices. Good judgment will only develop if you truly learn from your experiences – good or bad. Unfortunately, for many people, it takes a few repeats of the same to learn any lessons.
Good or bad, experiences are what help us learn lessons and form a better sense of judgment. Bad judgment seems to stick with us longer as a lesson learned because we really do not want to keep repeating it. Wisdom is the knowledge you can gain from making mistakes.
“Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.” – Albert Einstein
I wholeheartedly believe that good judgment comes from experimentation with life. That includes poor decisions and bad judgment to ensure that good judgment might be recognized by a person and will remain a permanent fixture in their lives. If you have a difficult time making decisions or always blame your bad outcomes on others, then you have not learned anything. If you have not learned from anything, you will continue to have bad experiences that will cause you to make more poor judgments. Until you realize that, you will continue to suffer.
Growth starts as soon as you recognize your mistake (error) and how to prevent it from happening again. Everyone makes mistakes in life, this is normal, but how you learn from them is how you develop your judgment. The only way to prevent making a mistake a second time is to learn. If you don’t, you will be making that same error again and again until you are forced to learn.
“Mistakes are a part of being human. Appreciate your mistakes for what they are: precious life lessons that can only be learned the hard way. Unless it’s a fatal mistake, which, at least, others can learn from.”
Stay tuned for Day 6 Blog – It could blow your socks off!
A Day to Remember that Harbors Resentment
(A very Unhealthy Habit for an Unhealthy Future)
Six years ago; October 31st, 2010, my beloved father took an unexplained fall and hit his head on a hardwood floor of the house that he shared with his wife of 10 years; twelve years his junior, who seemed to be quite perplexed as to the reason for his fall in the first place.
Due to the amazing incredible health he endured at 89 years young; he stood to beat all the odds and came through with just slight right brain damage that created similar symptoms as dementia but was doing everything he could to beat the odds with that too. Unfortunately it was the side of the brain that was reserved for judgment; reasoning, reading and writing and at which time there was no other recourse but for him to be declared incompetent before he would unknowingly take an ax to all that he’d worked so hard for all his life.
Teaching his GREAT grandchildren a bit of chess! (Before his fall)
This type of brain damage and the type of injury he sustained created mini heart attacks and strokes that were overcome with the proper meds. My father never took medication for anything and this was very hard on his body; taking so much in such a short period of time. Especially the seizure meds; those alone were very dangerous to say the least. Causing many more problems than what he was dealing with and needed to be monitored very closely.
My children with their grandpa after he fell…….still going strong…..before he went home to play like he was sixteen again!!
At this time now, he was enjoying life to its fullest and was basically using the brain of a teenager. Who wouldn’t want a chance to feel like that again? He took up smoking again; like he did when he was in the war and hadn’t smoked for over 65 years. He began to drink alcohol until he got drunk even though the mixture with the medications he was taking was a recipe for disaster. All the while his wife was allowing all of this to take place; a midst the advice from his doctors; and his family and friends couldn’t do anything about it.
Getting so much better…..during the time of his much enjoyment with my brother’s healthy visits!
The closeness my father and I shared up until that fateful day began to fade away into the distance to where I just couldn’t see or feel it anymore. After all who was this man? My dad was in there somewhere.
After the loss of my mother in 1988; my father married a second wife that also passed away only to be thrown into the arms of the last wife on his journey.
Finally; on November 20, 2012 my father passed away at the Hospice in our hometown in Florida. But the unfortunate part was that there existed a loophole in the legal system regarding spouses of 10 years or more. And she took it upon herself to disengage from the advice of his doctors; which was for him to go to a nursing facility or a rehab clinic for a few days to adjust his meds that weren’t agreeing with him; she found a better place for him for free! Hospice of the Comforter; a place for terminally ill patients to go to die peacefully and to go be with God.
And Medicare would pay for it! The other facilities that were suggested would have to be paid by insurance and out of pocket expenses and not be free to the patient.
As his friends and family began to scramble to see what they could do to not only understand what was going on but to get him out of there…..his wife put a ban on any of them to visit until he was too far gone and then she lifted the ban. He put up a fight when he was admitted and it took several men to hold him down and to shoot him up with the first of dozens of daily shots of morphine…and was labeled as “Failure to Thrive”. And the worst part was that the doctor on staff labeled him as having the terminal illness of “psoriasis of the liver” for the record. None of his medical records showed anything of the sort; even his primary care physician didn’t have knowledge of that. He was left to die; with no food or water or any kind of IV and was never sent to the hospital. He didn’t have a terminal disease and was just cruelly left to die. Our hands were tied around his wife’s decisions to kill him off!
And this same Hospice was sued by the Feds only months before for Medicare Malpractice and won the case; settling out of court; whereas Hospice was forced to make restitution to Medicare for all the money they took illegally.
After our long court battle with Probate that lasted a total of 2 years; the wife wins 30% of his Estate of what my dad didn’t want her to have because of the loophole in the system. While I’m struggling to keep his Legacy alive; it’s not easy to be in debt; when he NEVER was in his life.
As you read this; I’m sure you can empathize with the harboring resentment and anger that I still have after all these years. It attacks me every day; especially when I’m operating his business on a shoestring budget and hanging on for dear life.
SO THIS IS WHAT I’VE LEARNED:
Resentments embody a basic choice to refuse to forgive, an unwillingness to let bygones be bygones and bury the hatchet. We review and rehash our painful past, even as we profess to want to let go of it. We do so because we believe the illusion that by belaboring our resentment, we will somehow achieve the justice we believe we are due. We cling to a futile need to be “right,” which overrides the capacity to heal and be at peace with ourselves. We hang on to perceived offences because we don’t know any other way of coming to grips with painful feelings of hurt and abandonment. We need to learn to let go of resentment, because living with it can only bring us chronic punishment and pain, and prevent us from building up other relationships based on love, nurture, and support. Letting go of a resentment is not a gift to the person you resent. It is, rather, a gift to yourself.
Fortunately, there are ways to get out of resentment’s crippling grip. There are alternative, life-affirming, and healthy responses that will help you achieve freedom from obsessing about past injustices. There are choices you may not realize are available to you. How can you learn to get out from under these toxic feelings? Take the following suggestions to heart and you’ll be on your way.
10 Steps to Letting Go of Resentment
1. Approach resentment as the addictive state of mind it is.
2. Realize that you are using resentment to replicate old dramas and acknowledge that you cannot change the past.
3. Examine how your resentment may come from mentally confusing people in your present life with people from your past.
4. Acknowledge that you cannot control those who have rejected you.
5. Recognize that your resentment gives you only illusions of strength. Instead, highlight and validate your real strength and power.
6. Learn to identify signals that provoke resentment. Apply the acronym HALT, widely used in 12-step programs: Hungry, Angry, Lonely, and Tired.
7. Practice cognitive behavioral techniques to stop indulging in resentment. Put a thought between your feelings of resentment and indulging in ruminating about them.
8. Acknowledge your part in allowing the abuse to occur, forgive yourself for that, and make a decision to not let it occur again.
9. Declare an amnesty with the person you resent and with yourself.
10. Forgive when you can, and practice willful and deliberate forgetfulness when you cannot, keeping in mind that these acts are gifts to yourself rather than capitulation to the people you resent.
Remember: Your mind is like a magnifying glass. Whatever you focus on will expand. Do you want to focus on resentment, or forgiveness? Which one, do you believe, will ultimately make you feel (and live) better?
Michael Binder is what you would call a “movie aficionado” through and through. He’s probably watched just about every single movie you’ve ever heard of, twice. In fact, Binder loves movies so much that he’s managed to make a career writing about them and talking about them for his hundreds of followers. Got to hand it to the guy; he had a dream; and went after it with all the guns he had!
But when he saw the mega viral hit that featured a bunch of dance scenes from popular movies matched up to the incredibly popular song, “Uptown Funk,” he was instantly inspired to do a similar mashup, only he wanted to use dance scenes from movies that only came out of the Golden Age of cinema.
It took him a long while to find the perfect clips which properly conveyed the energy and passion, but after he scanned through hundreds and hundreds of movies from 1953 and earlier, he finally edited together an absolutely stunning video featuring some of our favorite dancers and singers.
It’s pretty amazing to watch legends like, Gene Kelly, Shirley Temple, Judy Garland, and Fred Astaire dance to one of the catchiest songs ever!
The amount of time it must have taken to edit this whole piece together is truly astounding. Not only did Binder have to be aware of the dance sequence in his head, but he had to time it properly with the music without speeding up or slowing down the original footage. HE WAS DETERMINED AND HE MADE IT HAPPEN!
In the end he created a video that is really fun to watch. He really put a lot of thought into this whole project, and just about everyone loves the final result! HE PUT HIS MIND TO IT AND JUST DID IT!
Who wouldn’t want to just DANCE….when you’ve watched this video? Somehow the words from the movie “Grease” came to my mind in an instant – “I got chills, they’re multiplying. And I’m losing control ‘Cause the power, you’re supplying. It’s electrifying!” And Grease was a perfect example of going after what you want; accomplishing; achieving; controlling; and being successful all in one swoop!
I’m forever hearing the comment “Just Do It”. There’s a lot of “risk” packaged into that one small statement.
And then the all too common answer would be – “What have you got to lose?” Another deep and powerful statement —
What does what have you got to lose? mean?
The meaning of “what have you got to lose?” is:
(idiom) you should take a risk, because things cannot get worse
Example Sentences:
A: Should I quit my job and start my own business?
B: I don’t know, do you like your current job?
A: No, I hate it.
B: Then what have you got to lose? I say you should do it!
A: I want to go talk to that girl, but I’m too shy.
B: You should do it, what could possibly go wrong?
A: I don’t know!
B: Come on, what have you got to lose?
Today I will leave you with 10 Awesome Quotes on Risk Taking that might just make us “Want to Dance” and hopefully will be a delightful inspiration for us all!
1. “Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it.” — Goethe
2. “Security is mostly a superstition. Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.” — Helen Keller
3. “It’s not because things are difficult that we dare not venture. It’s because we dare not venture that they are difficult.” — Seneca
4. “Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far it is possible to go.” — T.S. Eliot
5. “What you have to do and the way you have to do it is incredibly simple. Whether you are willing to do it is another matter.” — Peter Drucker
6. “Go out on a limb. That’s where the fruit is.” — Jimmy Carter
7. “I am always doing that which I cannot do, in order that I may learn how to do it.” — Pablo Picasso
8. “Life is being on the wire, everything else is just waiting. — Karl Wallenda
9. “If things seem under control, you are just not going fast enough.” — Mario Andretti
10. “Don’t be afraid to take a big step. You can’t cross a chasm in two small jumps.” — David Lloyd George
TAKE YOUR NEXT RISK AND READ MY POST FOR DAY 4 TOMORROW OF THIS BLOG CHALLENGE!!
Let’s think about this for a minute – “Make the best of Everything in EVERY way”…. Essentially, that doesn’t mean that you’re always happy and everything is perfect. The happiest people don’t have the best of everything, they just make the best of everything.
Happiness is something that we all seek. Every goal we set, every achievement we pursue, every relationship we engage in, and every journey we embark on is really just an attempt to feel happiness. Wouldn’t you agree?
All of us seek happiness, and it comes in various forms. However, our habits have a major impact on whether or not we experience happiness. I’m going to list 10 “Happiness Habits” that, if consistently practiced, will create a measurable difference in our lives. Even making an attempt at just one of them could drastically change the way we feel every day!
1. Align Our Goals With What We Really Value
Quickly ask yourself these questions: Are my goals authentic? Why do I want to achieve (for me – “some form of success so I can retire with a decent income”)? Do I truly value what I am pursuing?
If our core values are not properly aligned with our goals and daily actions, there will be inner conflict. It is difficult to sustain happiness with a perpetual sense of inner conflict. (And this is where I personally am right now). Our goals and actions need to be aligned with what we uniquely value as individuals. So if they aren’t aligned, we need to make a change today. Either set a new goal that is aligned with something we uniquely value, or stop pursuing something that has little intrinsic meaning. (I’m paying close attention here)
2. Visualize The Absolute Best Case Scenario
It is natural for us to envision “what could possibly go wrong” in a given situation. In many cases this actually isn’t a bad thing. It allows us to make peace with the “worst case scenario” and plan appropriately. However, it doesn’t get us excited. So if we feel so inclined to prepare for the worst, we should also have the habit of “seeing the best” as well. When we see the best, it gets us excited, and it provides us with a sense of hope, confidence and creativity. (I need to do this because I’ve nixed every idea and goal!)
3. Give Our Very Best In Everything We Do
Inner conflicts are often at the heart of our unhappiness. A great way to create an inner conflict is to give a half-hearted effort in what we are pursuing. We can’t always control our immediate circumstances. Things happen to us that are outside of our control, but we can control how we react to situations. We can control our actions, and we can control our attitude‒no matter what happens to us. When we live each moment of our life with a sense that we are always giving our best, we will feel at peace. We won’t have regrets, and no matter what happens to us we will hold our heads up high knowing that we did our best. This makes us happy.
4. Move Towards What Scares Us
Fear stops us from fulfillment. It also inhibits happiness. When we move towards what scares us, we achieve a powerful personal victory. It is the victory of the self over the self. When we achieve this victory we feel fulfilled, and we feel happy. Moving towards our fear also increases our complexity as individuals, and causes us to learn. Both of these are results that make us feel good. A habit of moving towards fear should be done in small, measurable steps. Are you afraid of public speaking? Don’t sign up for a TED talk quite yet (perhaps that will come later). Start first with a small venue. Expand your comfort zone a small step at a time. Over time (as this becomes a habit) you will be amazed at your growth, and one day when you stand on that TED stage, it will seem surreal, but you only get there one step at a time. One victory over fear at a time. Facing your fears is the ONLY way to get above them! “Fear” literally killed my mother – I know all about this – Don’t let it beat you!
5. Be Present. Live For Today
Living in the past can sometimes be nostalgic (and memorable), but it can also be painful and depressing. It is so easy to recall past mistakes and missteps (I don’t call them “mistakes” – I call them “learning curves”). It is so easy to dwell on failures and the things that we “should have done.” Living for the future can sometimes be exciting (if we are proficient at visualizing a compelling future), but it can also make us anxious (and scared) when we start to think about all the things we must do to make that future a reality. The solution to the dangers of past and future living is to live completely in the present. The present is all that we have anyway. When we live in the present, we experience flow. We do better work. We eliminate anxiety and we thwart fear.
6. Learn Something New
If we believe that learning leads to happiness, then we have an unlimited opportunity for an exciting and fulfilling life. There are literally limitless opportunities to learn. You can learn a new skill or a new language. You can learn strategies and tools that will help you to cultivate your existing talents and abilities. You can expand your knowledge of the world, and other cultures. You can live your entire life, immersed in learning related activities, and still never know it all. The reality is that learning does make us happy. It gives us confidence. You don’t need to go back to school to learn (although that can be fulfilling as well), just go to your preferred search engine, type some keywords of things that you’d like to learn and start reading. Build on what you know every day. (My father used to open a “real” dictionary and close his eyes and point – and the word he pointed to was the word he would use ALL day in many ways; just to expand his vocabulary!)
7. Exercise and Eat Healthy Foods
The better we eat, the better we’ll feel. The more we move, the better we’ll feel. This habit is also one that will create immediate results. Sometimes, when we are in a bad mood, or perhaps we’ve had a bad day at work, the solution is a simple one: get to the gym, go for a walk or run, get on the bike, or go for a swim. Whatever our preferred method is, the results are the same. We feel better after we exercise. (Works EVERY time for me!)
8. Detach From The Opinions of Others
Relationships bring meaning, purpose and richness to our lives. They also can be a significant source of pain and frustration if we become fixated on the opinions of others. The reality is that not everyone is going to like us. Sometimes, just by being ourselves, we unintentionally push people away, and if we try to change this (by being someone who we aren’t) we unintentionally push others away (who like our authentic version better). There is only one of us, and that is the person who we need to be 100% of the time‒the real, authentic self‒and if it means that not everyone likes us, so be it. We will be much happier over time if we live as who we really are, and detach from the opinions of others. (Sometimes the opinion of others – whether good or bad – can throw us into a direction we weren’t intending to go….and we become reliant on those opinions in order to function!) DON’T LET THIS HAPPEN TO YOU!
9. Detach From Results. Focus Only On Actions
This is a difficult one, but if we master it, it will change our lives. We pursue goals because we want a result, and there is nothing wrong with this. All of us do it. However, if we become completely fixated on the result, and fail to achieve it, then we may look at the endeavor as “wasted time.” We also may be so disappointed in not obtaining the result that we won’t see all of the growth that we experienced (this is especially true for me an all my goals that I nixed!). Some people feel that the saying “the journey is the destination” is simply a cliche, but if we truly live it, it is far more. When detaching from results‒and focusing only on our actions, on being present at each moment, and on giving the very best that we have‒becomes a habit, we have great possibilities for happiness. (I’m surely working on this one!)
10. Live Life As A Great Experiment
When we are kids, anything is possible. Life is one giant experiment and we are the great scientists. There are no failures. There is only feedback. We are willing to experiment and try just about anything that interests us. There are no limits. Unfortunately, for many of us, this enthusiasm, and willingness to experiment, fades with age. We get risk-adverse. We start worrying about failure, especially if that failure is visible (and could lead to criticism). We start doubting what is possible. We believe that we are being “practical” and “pragmatic” and we hypnotize ourselves to think that this is the grown-up way to act (Well that’s what all the media tells us with all their hype and “fear” talking!). However, it often doesn’t make us happy, and we’d be happier if we just retained the curiosity we had as a child. If we can capture the child-like innocence of treating life like a giant experiment, and we are the amateur scientists, then the world will remain a wonderful mystery, and we will constantly feel intrigued and happy. (I can’t wait! I’m always saying I’m just a “youngin” already!)
